This blog seems particularly timely because as I’m writing this, we’re in the heart of “March Madness” and like many other wives, I’m a basketball-widow for a few weeks. I’m writing this on a Thursday morning. That’s significant because I was told of the encounter on Sunday and I CANNOT get past it. The shock of it still vibrates inside me.
At a gathering of college students at a major university with a strong basketball program filled with players with genuine NBA-dreams, a female student stood next to a basketball player. The young lady smiled at the player and proceeded to compliment him on the team’s success. He cut her off and said (and this is a direct quote), “Unless we’re going planning to f*#$, don’t speak to me.” Let me repeat that …
“Unless you plan to F*&$ me, don’t speak to me.”
Now, I know what you’re thinking – that I’m relaying a story that’s been embellished through several re-tellings OR that I’m telling a story out of context OR that I’m telling a story where I only tell one side (for example, maybe the girl said or did something to inspire such a response) OR maybe he was joking and I’m overreacting.
I know you may be thinking along those lines because that’s what I usually think too. BUT, let me assure you, I personally know the players in this drama.
Here are the questions that keep rumbling through me:
I know we live in a culture of entitlement. Is this just a disgusting extension of that?
I’m posting this not because I want to kick-off a storm of controversy. I’m posting this because I had no idea how to counsel my young friend. I have no guidance for children, my grandchildren or their parents. In my mind – and maybe I’m showing my age – this behavior is Unacceptable.
I have no idea how to change things. It seems that we have so many problems in our world and all of them are so complex. Where do we begin? Can we even begin to define strategies when some believe his behavior is acceptable and others do not? Do we have any hope when everything seems so polarized? Can we bridge these gaps?
This entire situation has created an upheaval in my own heart. It feels like I should DO something – but what? How?
In April 2012 I had a mental breakdown. The real thing. I have about 36 hours that I don’t remember....