Over the least 3 days I’ve had several people say something like …. “But, what will people think?”  I personally have thought the following at least 20 times:  “I’m scared to do it because of what people will think.” 

I know what people think …ready?  Please think _______________________________________.  NOTHING!

Let me prove it!

Me-Myself-Mine

Take a few seconds and think of all the things in your life that take your energy:  your goals, responsibilities, aches and pains, dreams, regrets, worries, to-do lists, tasks that should be done but aren’t, habits you want/don’t want, that bowl you want to buy, what’s for dinner, those extra pounds.  Go ahead and add your immediate family’s goals, dreams, worries, to-do lists, etc.  This list is quite long and we will call it your Me-Myself-Mine. 

What I Really Thought of You

Yesterday, I went to lunch with a sometime acquaintance and she told me a couple of things that had my eyebrows rise.  Here is what I thought:

That’s kinda weird – ME-MYSELF-MINE – ME-MYSELF-MINE – ME-MYSELF-MINE – I don’t think that’s a good idea -- ME-MYSELF-MINE – ME-MYSELF-MINE – ME-MYSELF-MINE – ME-MYSELF-MINE – ME-MYSELF-MINE – ME-MYSELF-MINE – she’s just odd -- ME-MYSELF-MINE – ME-MYSELF-MINE – ME-MYSELF-MINE – ME-MYSELF-MINE – ME-MYSELF-MINE – ME-MYSELF-MINE – ME-MYSELF-MINE – ME-MYSELF-MINE – ME-MYSELF-MINE – ME-MYSELF-MINE – ME-MYSELF-MINE – ME-MYSELF-MINE – ME-MYSELF-MINE – ME-MYSELF-MINE – ME-MYSELF-MINE – I think that’s just wrong - ME-MYSELF-MINE – ME-MYSELF-MINE – ME-MYSELF-MINE – this person may be a bit crazy -- ME-MYSELF-MINE – ME-MYSELF-MINE – ME-MYSELF-MINE – this might be my last lunch with this person -- ME-MYSELF-MINE – ME-MYSELF-MINE – ME-MYSELF-MINE – ME-MYSELF-MINE – ME-MYSELF-MINE – ME-MYSELF-MINE –

Get the idea?  In a 90-minute conversation, she got about 45 seconds of my thoughts/judgments/assessments.  We talked the entire time but with almost every topic, I re-wrapped it internally into my own me-myself-mine world.  Certainly I’ve thought about our conversation since but only as it relates to how her ideas support my own needs and goals.  I haven’t wasted time on judging HER … I’ve spent my time only thinking about MY desired role.

Of Course I Think of Others

Now, this makes me sound like ALL I think about is myself …. I do think of others …. It looks like this:

I hope Sue’s doing well and she’ll call if she needs me -- ME-MYSELF-MINE – ME-MYSELF-MINE – ME-MYSELF-MINE – ME-MYSELF-MINE – ME-MYSELF-MINE – ME-MYSELF-MINE – ME-MYSELF-MINE – ME-MYSELF-MINE – ME-MYSELF-MINE – I hope Devin is safe and getting my letters -- ME-MYSELF-MINE – ME-MYSELF-MINE – ME-MYSELF-MINE – ME-MYSELF-MINE – ME-MYSELF-MINE – ME-MYSELF-MINE – ME-MYSELF-MINE – ME-MYSELF-MINE – I wonder if Terri is still going to South America -- ME-MYSELF-MINE – I think De might like this book -- ME-MYSELF-MINE – ME-MYSELF-MINE – ME-MYSELF-MINE – ME-MYSELF-MINE – ME-MYSELF-MINE – ME-MYSELF-MINE – ME-MYSELF-MINE – Ohh, I need to share this quote with Lisa -- ME-MYSELF-MINE – ME-MYSELF-MINE – I hope Misty is taking the time to get those supplies – I can’t wait to read Jeff’s first newsletter -- ME-MYSELF-MINE – ME-MYSELF-MINE – ME-MYSELF-MINE – ME-MYSELF-MINE – ME-MYSELF-MINE – ME-MYSELF-MINE – I hope Joan comes to the pool -- ME-MYSELF-MINE – ME-MYSELF-MINE – ME-MYSELF-MINE – ME-MYSELF-MINE – ME-MYSELF-MINE – ME-MYSELF-MINE – Jamie should have kept her mouth shut -- ME-MYSELF-MINE – ME-MYSELF-MINE – ME-MYSELF-MINE – ME-MYSELF-MINE – Oh crap, I forgot to do that thing for Sandy -- ME-MYSELF-MINE – that bathing suit should not be on that body -- ME-MYSELF-MINE – ME-MYSELF-MINE – ME-MYSELF-MINE – ME-MYSELF-MINE

Be honest – isn’t that what it looks like for all of us? 

The Point

The point is that we spend so much time worrying about what other people are thinking …. BUT, other people are thinking about their own me-myself-mine. We have a limited amount of thought space and it’s easily filled with personal crap.   As a matter of fact, even when you want people to think about you, they probably aren’t.  There just isn’t time or capacity. 

Next time you get wrapped up in worry about what other people are thinking, consider what you thought about each of the last several hours – it was about me-myself-mine, wasn’t it?

Today, I have to face my own “what will people think” fears – I have to put myself out there in a very vulnerable way!  And, yes, I’m panicked about it --- even that worry, though, is really a me-myself-mine thought!  I accept that I’m worried about it, I will continue to remind myself that people have bigger things to think about, I will ACT anyway!

The Universe Speaks

Just after I hit save, I opened my email and found this:

“Most of us are experts at solving other people’s problems, but we generally solve them in terms of our own and the advice we give is seldom for other people but for ourselves.”

Nan Fairbrother, The House in the Country