As I ran on the treadmill at my gym this morning, I got caught in a negative spiral. I started to evaluate the women and their bodies. I started to compare. Many of you are nodding your head in understanding. Others of you are biting your nails in agony with me. Some of you are rolling your eyes at what a waste of time that is.
Here is what I decided:
There was not one person in that gym that had what I dream is perfection.
I can kick myself for doing this game. But, I do it. You do it. It seems to be the nature of the human experience.
No one has to remind me that there’s no such thing as perfection. I have to remind myself. I have to take the time to look around and see truth. Not just with body issues. No one is perfect in any area of life.
My problem is not so much that I do this comparison. Like I said above, we all do it. My problem is that I allow these comparisons to throw me off my own game. If I’m not careful, I can use these unfair comparisons to change my own goals. I do NOT have the goal to be this buff woman. But, seeing Kathy’s muscles makes me reconsider. I do NOT have the goal (or ability) to have perfectly flat abs. But, seeing Sharon makes me want to do abdominal work until I can’t roll over.
My goals have been well-thought out. These goals are reasonable and challenging. These goals are obtainable but not easily. They are MY goals – not Karen’s or Shari’s or Julie’s. My goals HONOR me.
So, I played the comparison game today. I lost and I won. I reviewed my goals, reviewed my progress, reviewed my motives. I am okay with my butt, my abs, my muscles, my height. I’m especially thrilled that during a workout I push myself, I grunt, I sweat. But I also laugh and tease and take a break when my body says so.
I am not perfect … yet I am perfect in this moment.
In April 2012 I had a mental breakdown. The real thing. I have about 36 hours that I don’t remember....