June Converse

Thriving After Trauma - Author and Writing Coach

The Four Agreements Revisited

I started this year choosing six books to read for self-development. My goal was (and still is) to apply what I learn and share with you. One book every 2 months. What I hadn’t anticipated was the depth of knowledge and introspection I’d uncover. I could spend an entire year pondering and applying the concepts in The Four Agreements.

When this book came out in 1997, I feared it because a pastor condemned it as being sacrilegious. I should have read the book myself instead of trusting someone else. If you could glean only one thing from me, please glean this: You have to listen TO SELF before others. You are a thinking, feeling, intelligent being. You can make your own judgments. If I had opened this book in 1997, I would be in a wildly different place – a better, more loving and peaceful, place – than I am in 2021.

Ruiz spends a lot of time explaining The Book of Law – those things we believe because we’ve been taught to believe them -- not because they are truth. You have your book. I have my book. You can’t know mine and I can’t know yours. Yet, we judge each other and ourselves based on these unknowns and these untruths.

We victimize ourselves because someone else told me what to think and believe.

“95% of the beliefs we have stored in our minds are nothing but lies, and we suffer because we believe all these lies.”

I think 95% is low.

My Challenge For Me

“Death is not the biggest fear we have; our biggest fear is taking the risk to be alive – the risk to be alive and express what we really are.”

I will find a way to risk being alive. I will start with intention. I intend to:

  • Be on the lookout for the false truths I’ve embraced and when I discover a false belief, I’ll work diligently to replace it with truth.
  • Be impeccable with my words – with others and within myself.
  • Not take things personally.
  • Not make assumptions and have the courage to ask for clarification.
  • Do my very best.
  • Learn from my mistakes rather than judge myself for making mistakes and be thankful I can keep practicing.

My Commitment to Others

  • I will not seek to please you because that is not my role. My role is to risk being alive.
  • I will not tell you what you should believe. I will encourage you to reconsider and relook at your Book of Law.
  • I will not gossip about you or to you.
  • I will remember at all times that you have your own Book of Law which means we will never be able to see things exactly the same way.
  • It’s not my job to point out your false beliefs. Only you can take the book off the shelf, only you can open it.

How Can I Live Up To These Commitments?

I can’t. But I can try. I can acknowledge when I missed the mark. I can apologize to you or to myself. I can release judgment. I can try again.

I can remind myself of these commitments daily. I can see how embracing and employing these agreements will make my life more peaceful and my relationships more real. There is a very cool necklace I hope to buy myself. Or maybe a tattoo. Until then, I have purchased these great coloring sheets from Etsy. I commit to actually coloring these and not putting them aside. I commit to hanging these above my desk and not forgetting they are there.

That’s my very best.

Oh, No! Already Thinking of 2022

Ruiz has a book called The Fifth Agreement. I’ll have to add that one to 2022 – four agreements is plenty for 2021.

Journal Time

Which of The Four Agreements resonates with you? What I mean is, which one is an area you might need to take an honest assessment of yourself at this moment in life? What commitments can you make to yourself? To others?

Are you brave enough to open your Book of Law?

Coming Up Next: Return to Love by Marianne Williamson


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June Converse with purple hair
Choosing to rebuild a life after a breakdown has been a challenge. I became an author and a blogger who openly shares...

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