June Converse

My Journey from Awareness to Acceptance to Authenticity

I used to believe that God (the Christian God) guided our steps. If we’d just ask, He’d tell us what to do. I never once got an email or postcard from God. And as far as I know there is no “Dear June” from Genesis to Revelation. I’d see other people make a decision and say, “God told me to.” Maybe He did, but I never understood how they knew. Often it seemed to me they were using “God told me to” as a justification for something they were going to do anyway. I freely admit I have used God as an excuse for interesting choices.

Now that I no longer embrace the Christian God in the way I was taught, I’ve wondered how to know or to choose the right path. How does the Godiverse guide us? I firmly believe the energy we send into the world boomerangs back. If I’m a grumpy, negative old lady, the world will give me plenty to be grumpy about. So, if I’m listening to the Godiverse, what am I hearing and how will that help me move forward down the right path?

A Little Woo-Woo

If you know me, you know I’m not into what I call ‘woo-woo’. I respect people – even envy people -- who have a more spiritual connection. While I don’t do woo-woo, I try to leave myself open to people and to messages. Yesterday, a little woo-woo landed in my mailbox.

I had written a blog about when my head and heart don’t agree. It was written as Head Wants vs. Heart Wants. I was trying to work out whether to continue this writing gig. By the time I was done writing the blog, any rational human being would have followed the head and stopped writing for public consumption. I was resolved to give up even if my heart stayed heavy.

Then, woo-woo landed in my mailbox. The very next day a stranger left me this message.

“Your book is such a powerful, relatable and amazingly, another source of healing for me personally. I would not be alive if it were not for deciding to hope for joy to return in my life … appreciate the kindness, encouragement and resources you’ve offered others through your blog.”

Wow! Why do I pour my heart into my blog and my stories? For this reader and all the others who have reached out. Yes, of course, the writing is a type of personal therapy but sharing it is about being available to others. My heart tells me to write-on!

The Boomerang Effect

Two days later, I received an email from my publisher:

“Advertising is barely working. I'm tweaking, adding new targets, trying to focus in on what small movements I've seen....but I'm not sure it has done anything more than increase discoverability. I'm not seeing sales.”

If you read last week’s blog, you’ll know how much money I spend on this “hobby”. Beyond the outlay of money, I put a lot of myself out there. Nothing I write is easy on an emotional level. Kathleen (my protagonist) hurt and I hurt with her. The blogs are written when I’m in pain.

I do NOT expect to become the next Oprah or Reese Witherspoon selection. But “I’m not seeing sales” is hard to swallow. To make that even worse, some of my friends haven’t bothered to obtain or read the book. I know I shouldn’t expect friends to do that – but I do. I would do it for them. Every time. But maybe that’s my “buying friends” problem – a topic for another day.

My head says if no one is willing to invest, then just buy a pretty journal and write for myself. That’s free.

The Godiverse Needs to Make Up Its Mind

Two days ago, I was willing and encouraged to ‘write-on’.

Today, ugh. Head vs. Heart has no clear winner.

Do You Hear from God? I create a unique Journaling Activity for each blog! This one focuses on how YOU make your decisions. Click HERE to download!

All of my novels, at least so far, have an element of mental illness within a character. Decide to Hope is the most autobiographical in that I struggle in many ways exactly as the female protagonist.
- J.C.
June Converse with purple hair
In April 2012 I had a mental breakdown. The real thing. I have about 36 hours that I don’t remember....
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