Does Alexa kinda creep you out? Yesterday I was chatting in the kitchen with a friend whose daughter is named Alexis. Every few sentences, Alexa would chime in and say, “Sorry, I didn’t understand your request.” Hmmmm. So much for private conversation.

Another creepy thing … I was goofing off online searching for something a little bit dirty and a little bit sexy. Now, on Instagram and FB and everywhere else, I’m getting the most interesting advertisements. I expect to get a butcher-paper-covered goodie in my mailbox. This, my friends, has been a little hard to explain to hubby! So much for private fantasizing.

Another creepy thing … well, it’s not creepy. It’s friggin’ annoying! No matter how many times I tell Victoria Secret to UNSUBSCRIBE me, I still get ads for undies my big ass could never wear! Does UNSUBSCRIBE actually mean ‘send me more please’?

Just the fact that I have to write this privacy policy tells you that someone has violated your – my – our privacy.

Fighting and Losing to Big Brother

You honor me by looking at my website, reading my blogs, buying my books. I will honor you as much as I possibly can.

I have opted to pay for additional website security. These folks do check for spammers and therefore they look at your comments and info. This data is NOT SAVED longer than a week. Since I get penile implant links, I thought it best to protect you from that. If you want some info on penile enlargement, send me a note!

I DO NOT share your information with anyone else. Never ever. No way. If you send me a personal email, it is never shared. Never ever. No way. If you unsubscribe, I will get you off my damn list!

I do collect your name and email address when you sign up for my newsletter and other updates. I use Mailchimp. Rather than bore you with more gobbledy-gook here is the link to their legalese: https://mailchimp.com/legal/privacy/. Assuming my privacy policy hasn’t bored you to death, I suggest you open and read MailChimps’ version when insomnia hits.

My providers do show me statistical data on what gets the most attention. Google and other search engines also track you and what you do – but that’s Big Brother and not little old me. Google is allowed to gather data from this site but really, what can I do. It's Google. Regardless, I not only don’t have time to play the stats game, I don’t have the know-how and I don’t have the want-to. So, if you get a lovely ad for penile enlargement – don’t blame me! (I once sent someone a joke about that and now I’m on someone’s list and keep getting information. Three more inches?? Yikes!)

I write what’s in my heart and while I hope people enjoy and interact, I don’t use statistical data to target my topics.

There are ways around Big Brother, but I think those are a waste of time. Sadly, Big Brother is bigger than me and you. We can find a way to protect our privacy today. But tomorrow, Big Brother will find the loophole. If you don’t believe that, watch C-SPAN.

My best advice – remember NOTHING digital is ever truly gone. I will do my VERY BEST but that might not be good enough.

Cookies

Yesterday I was trying to buy a comforter. I kept hitting ‘add to cart’ and nothing happened. Before I could tear my hair out, I finally asked my techy hubby. After he rolled his eyes, he pointed at the bottom of the screen where some sort of warning was flashing, asking me to accept cookies. I have no idea what that means but my security-conscious husband told me to accept on any site I wanted to actually see and reject on any site that is just trying to attract my attention.

That sounded easy enough.

I still don’t know exactly what a cookie is. But I trust my man. My site uses cookies to make in easier for you to leave comments. Good news -- these cookies are calorie free and optional.

Shit Happens

I did not enjoy writing this privacy policy because I would have preferred spending my writing time writing from my heart. That being said, from time-to-time my web advisor will force me to update this damn thing. If it’s a truly important update, I’ll put a link in my newsletter and on a blog. Otherwise, know that I’m doing my best to protect you and me.

If You’re Not From Around Here?

First, if you don’t live in the US, please send me an invitation to visit. I’ll find away to come and force Uncle Sam to adjust my taxes! Second, if you happen to come to the Atlanta, Georgia area, let me know. We can meet at my favorite coffee shop and enjoy an Almond Chocolate Chai tea (yes, that’s as good as it sounds). Third, I am based in the US and therefore you are accessing a US site and sending your info into our great land. Take heart – better the US than North Korea.

Be Safe Out in Cyberland

I have no idea if I’ve accomplished all I’m supposed to in this policy. But, as with everything I do, I was authentic and if I’m wrong, I’ll admit it and move the heck on.