Okay, I’ll admit it -- I stole this title from a cell phone commercial. It’s so perfect I’ll take the risk ….
I know you have a habit you want to build or a habit you want to stop or a goal you want to reach. Likely there are several. I’ve asked around and here are some that I keep hearing:
Do you have something in mind? My guess is that something – some ONE thing – popped right up. Say it out loud.
Let me digress … last week, I met with a lady who is interested in starting an accountability group. When I asked her what she wanted accountability for, she said: 1. I want to spend more time with my kids; and 2. I must start back exercising. The next few minutes told the story …. As we started to talk about ways to make those dreams reality she came up with …
TA DA … see why I like the title … SHE HAS GOT TO COVER THOSE BUTS ….
Back to YOUR goal … You’ve said it out loud (right?). Now, go ahead and start saying all the reasons this hasn’t happened yet. What are you buts?
My one primary goal is to be more consistent with eating right … I’ve defined what that means for me (right now, I’m wanting to eliminate most processed food)… but ….
Get the picture?
If I can’t/won’t cover those buts then is this truly a goal for me? Or is it a ‘should’ goal? In other words, do I ‘want to eat right consistently’ or do I think I should want to? If I truly wanted it, wouldn’t I blast through the buts?
“To not give a fuck about adversity, you must first give a fuck about something more important than adversity.”The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck by Mark Manson
Do I care enough about eating right to suffer through the adversity that I must suffer?
Here’s where authenticity kicks in. How many of your goals are authentic? Do you truly want to lose that weight, learn that skill, meet those people, spend more time with your kids? Or is it societal expectations, familial expectations, or some other external force speaking?
If the ‘buts’ are keeping you from moving forward, take the time to see if you are on the right path. It’s okay to weigh what you weigh. It’s okay to eat what I eat. It’s okay if I never learn to kick box. It’s okay if I never become more social. What goals do I want to more than I want to avoid the suffering? Be honest – be authentic – find the goals that really mean something and I bet you can find ways to cover those buts …
Over the next few days, I’m going to really think about this ‘eating right’ goal – where is this goal coming from? What is the reason I have that goal anyway (do I want -- to look better, to feel better, to be able to mock my bad-eating family, to look good to others?). I may just find that eating right is not MY goal or I may narrow down the truth behind why I want it and that will give me the strength to face the struggle! I’ll let you know!
BTW – The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck by Mark Manson is an EXCELLENT book if you can handle his language and crude examples! I had people at tables nearby thinking I was crazy because I laughed out loud so often – and yet, I found awesome nuggets to carry with me through life!
In April 2012 I had a mental breakdown. The real thing. I have about 36 hours that I don’t remember....